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Monday, November 30, 2015

Regain My Sanity

H was on a cruise trip for five days last week, it was for his company trip and I insisted him to go because he has missed so many company trips before sebab anak anak masih kecil lah, kesian nak tinggallah, kesian kat akulah. This time I persuaded him to go and assured him that I can take care of the children well, easy peasy I thought, so cute of me for thinking that way -_____-"

Because apparently... taking care of two small children without a husband was sooo hard! I cried on the first day he left, and to my defense, both my children were not so cooperative too! I don't know, maybe they were just missing their Daddy and they didn't know how to let out their emotion and being rebellious seemed the only way for them. I felt like a failure, and at that moment I was damn sure that I can never be a housewife or my children will grow up hating me. I feel like, I am a better mother when I am a working mom.

I was extremely tired, perhaps because I have to climb to my 4th floor apartment sambil dukung the 14kg Adam Muaz, with my almost 2kg handbag, also their laundry bag that we bring on daily basis to their babysitter. Benda yang selama ini aku tak pernah buat pun. Berat okay! Nasib baik Ammar Yusuf dah boleh naik tangga sendiri... To all single moms out there who take care of your own children single-handedly, you really have all my respect! You guys are superwomen!

But regardless how bad our day was, during bedtime was a complete different story. Both my children were so clingy, dua dua minta ditepuk dan suruh Mummy sing pula. We watched movies which we have recorded before on Astro, sambil Mummy di tengah tengah tepuk bontot dua dua, usap rambut sekali sekala dan anak anak bertanya itu ini, with their arms hugging my neck tight. The bedtimes were so calm, peaceful and beautiful. I kinda missed those moment already :')

So H is back now, and I'm also back to be a sane person hehe. Betul betul 'patah tangan' without him, my super-husband. Five days of taking care of two children without a husband, I've already re-evaluated my plan of having another child in the near future :/ Maybe he is right, I'm just not ready.




7 comments:

  1. Hahha...sejak saya bersalin haritu, dah 5 kali kot Jay terpaksa pergi KL,Johor,Singapore,KL atas urusan kerja,kursus..bukan sekejap2,sampai 7 hari pon ade. Mula2 tu rasa penat la,dengan nak anta Kakak pergi school pagi2,mengangkut semua anak2, dengan Ismaail sibuk nak main stereng, Ayyub taknak dok dalam carseat...Kadang2 drive sambil riba Ayyub..Adavjugak kadang2 terpaksa dukung Ayyub n Ismaail sekaligus kalo pergi kedai runcit. Imagine lah..Tapi,sekarang dah terbiasa...Rasa macam superwoman plok.Hahha...Memang sangat mencabar anak 3 orang nih. Una pikir 2 kali lah kalo nak tambah sorg lagi...Hhahaha..memang tak menang tangan

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    1. Whoaaa tabahnyaaaa jaga anak sorang sorang! 3 orang anak pula tu! Ke ada helper? Itulah memang sekarang dah kena fikir semula hasrat nak tambah anak dalam masa terdekat ni. Pah take care ye, elok elok drive tuu huhu

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    2. Mana ada helper Una oi..Even Mama saya dok rumah sebelah aje, tapi dia xminat sangat nak jaga cucu2..Setakat dukung2 jap boleh la...lgpon,mls nk susahkan dia.dia pon banyak aktiviti msjid.Dia pon dah merasa penat jaga anak2 masa muda2 dulu..

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  2. My husband was away for couple of times throughout my pregnancy of third baby. Setiap kali outstation, lebih seminggu. I decided to stay at my very own place while he was away since anak sulung dah sekolah (4 tahun je pun but just don't want to spoil him by skipping school everytime abi is away..huhu) Being pregnant with super active super clingy boys, i cried a lot the first time i had to handle everything by myself. Huhu..Now with 3 boys, hurmmm...Even staying at my parents house pun i can still lose my sanity...hahaha..

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    1. I know righttt. Nasib baik you ada parents yang live nearby, tengah pantang ni jangan duduk sendiri. I memang surrender rasanya, tak boleh handle lah! But sometimes you never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have. We can do it! ;)

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    2. I feel you ily...hhahahah...Sama je situasi..

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  3. i feel you. next year suami akan kursus sebulan. duk tengah pikir macam mana la nak hadapi semua ni. at least yang kecik boleh laa nak dukung2. Nasib baik kecik lagi. Yang nak serabut si abangnya. Sebab dia suka berlari2, rasa kurang selamat nak ke mana2 bertiga jer. Suami suruh balik ke rumah mertua. No probs, memang dah biasa. Cuma, home is sweet home. Tak sama rumah mertua dengan rumah sendiri. Still thinking the best way to deal it. Dan macam mana nak jawab bila si abang duk sebut2 'im gonna miss abah' "____"

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