Thursday, July 30, 2009

Demam

yes, the previous post is about my boyfriend yang jatuh sakit.
this time saya sendiri pula yang demam.
agak teruk la, maybe sebab saya sangat jarang demam.
semalam balik kerja terus baring atas katil.
i'm shivering for God sake,
eventhough i baring dlm selimut, tak pasang kipas, and pakai jacket lagi.
mama datang, saya yang masa tu dalam keadaan separuh sedar masih boleh dengar suara cemas mama betapa panasnya badan saya.
saya x mampu nak cakap apa2,
cume membiarkan kakak saya letak kain lembap atas dahi saya.
sempat jugak sy dgr mama kecoh2 call kakna la, call lah la..
utk bwk sy pegi hospital.
since baba, abg saya and man were not around,
diorang pergi kelantan.
dalam separuh sedar tu i also heard myself mumbling,
"ma, demam biasa je la. bukan paralysed pun"that's my overprotective mama.

so this afternoon my brother lah bwk pegi klinik.
sebenarnya bukan nak makan ubat sangat pun,
but i need the MC.
pergi private clinic, ingatkan kena bayar beratus2.
rupanya not bad la charges dia.
masih affordable lagi.
my body temperature was 39 degrees celcius.
(kalau cecah 40 degrees boleh membawa maut, mind u)

after that we both pergi shah alam to collect my degree scroll.
i need to get the certificate hari ni gak,
regardless how sick i am today.
since i dont really have much free time for that.
dlm sakit2 pun blh drive lagi.
that time i feel quite ok je.

i lose my appetite (should this be a good news?)
i eat a bit, just to be thrown up after that.
dah sangat lama i tak demam.
i almost forget how's the feel.
now i know, it is soo NOT GOOD.
while suffering of extreme coldness i sempat text my other half,
"kita ni chemistry kuat kan sayang? gilir2 lak demam :)"
and he just said,
"awak ni time2 camni pun boleh lak buat lawak lagi"

thats me.
i dont want to take it seriously.
mentang2 demam, asyik nak baring je.
thats not the way i am.
mama pun dah bising2 dengan kedegilan i.

i'm soo cold right now.
baru pas makan ubat batuk and pelbagai jenis ubat lain.
(selepas dileteri mama)
now i feel very sleepy.
pray for me my frens.
perasaan dilanda demam sangat tak best.



Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Serba tak kena

please get well soon.
u scared me.
the moment i said i'm fine, i lied.
i'm worried dead the whole day.
i so wanna call u like every 5 minutes,
just to ensure that u're fine.
but i dont want to disturb u much.
and i hate looking that pathetic in your eyes.
ah whatever.
like i'm not pathetic enough posting this.

i reached Eclipse, try to focus on my reading-->failed.
i switched on the laptop, thinking of searching sumthing-->boring.
i went to the kitchen, find sumthing to eat-->nothing good.
i reached my hp, type sumthing, and delete it-->he might sleep already.
i dialled his num, but cancel it-->chill, he'll be fine.


oh dear, what can i do to make things easier for u..

Monday, July 20, 2009

Girls out there watch out! (^_^)v

My precious Arissa Ilhamzahra is growing up..



Now u tell me,
Why am i soooo can't get her out of my head..??
Missing my little angel so much...
~Antina sangat2 sayang baby Aicha~

How to Be the Most Romantic Boyfriend :P (edited from wikiHow)

  1. Send flowers to her office (for no reason at all!). Flowers anywhere are good! (ala tanak la bunga, layu gak nanti. baik bg coklat ke. eyh tanak2, rosak la diet. bg iPhone je la senang :D)
  2. Just a card is fine! Women love cards. Make one yourself. (when i say card, i mean credit card. haha :D)
  3. Give her little gifts or surprises. Little things mean the most. (Tiffany white gold ring can be considered as little thing too :p)
  4. Play with her hair, but don't be annoying.
  5. Put your arms around her waist when you are standing behind her.
  6. Sleep with her when you can. (heheh, xley bla)
  7. Don't just kiss her on the lips; Her cheeks, forehead, shoulders, neck, arms, stomach, and chin are great, too! (ish2. kena kawen dlu ni!)
  8. Make eye contact with her as much as possible. (xyah suruh pun da tau awk mmg suka tgk sy :P)
  9. Tell her she is beautiful, not hot. Most girls would rather be called beautiful. (agree! no matter how chubby i am *adeyy*)
  10. Plan a perfect "date". Something other than the cliche dinner and movie. (hmm.. i still luv cliche dinner and movie :) anywhere that we can talk, laugh, talk and laugh again)
  11. Tell her you love her (but only if you really do). Write her love notes, too. (saying i luv u, ok. writing luv notes? haha. xyah la. wat klaka je..)
  12. Be sensitive to her needs. (and i need LV monogram tote bag)
  13. Make her feel special around her friends and other people.
  14. Make her birthday special.
  15. Plan something big for Valentine's Day. (ala xyah la, bkn elok pun celebrate benda alah ni..)
  16. Make her feel like she is the most important thing in the world to you. (i'm always the 2nd important when he's bz with his Man U thing. *sigh*)
  17. Give her a massage for no reason at all and without her having to ask! (yg ni kalau ada peluang mmg dia nak sgt ni. xyah2. gatal~)
  18. Always listen to her as much as you can, even though it is about girl stuff. (u're great in this, no doubt :))
  19. Always pay attention to her. A little ignorance will make her feel upset or even hurt her. (its ok, i dont expect u to pay attention to me 24-7. we got our own space, aren't we? :) *kalau asik bg attention je mmg kantoi la akitiviti membeli-belahku setiap hari*)
  20. Don't be too serious. Girls love a guy with a sense of humor. (haha.. your irresistable strongest point! ... and i luv u more bcuz of this :D)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

50 confessions.

  1. sy clumsy (and its extreme).
  2. sy mudah terpengaruh (eg. megasale)
  3. sy sgt fickle-minded. kalau sy kata da decide sumthing, x bermakna itu adalah keputusan muktamad sy. bila2 out of nowhere sy blh berubah fikiran.
  4. sy x suka fikir hal berat2, sbb sy nak masukkan benda seronok je dlm otak sy.
  5. sy selalu berharap ada org terdrop 1 case full of money dpan umah sy.
  6. sy sgt takut drive, sbb sy pnah accident time pakcik jpj ada kat sebelah sy.
  7. sy ddk kl 24 thn, tp sy sgt worse in giving direction dlm bandar kl ni.
  8. sy cepat cemas, walaupun hal kecik2 je.
  9. tp bila tiba hal besa2 sy leh lak cool je. (eg. final exam)
  10. sy x suka benda2 siyes, sbb sy suka main2 je (mcm sama je dgn no.4).
  11. sy selalu xnak kalah (esp bila benda tu sy rasa betul, even dgn boss sy sekalipun).
  12. sy x pandai sorok perasaan sy, bila sy x suka sesuatu, muka sy akan jadi sgt pelik bila sy try utk tunjuk yg sy sukakannya (for the sake of jaga hati org).
  13. sy x pandai masak, sbb mama sgt terer so sy segan nak masak utk mama (alasan! :p)
  14. 1st impression org utk sy-->sombong.
  15. sifat riang sy selalu dianggap kebudak2an oleh org lain.
  16. sy mudah menangis kalau tgk/baca/dgr cerita sedih.
  17. sy x penah berani tgk cerita hantu tanpa pegang sumthing utk tutup muka.
  18. dlm sesetengah keadaan adik perempuan sy lebih pandai handle situasi dr sy (and she's only 16).
  19. sy blh ketawa sampai keluar airmata tgk cerita katun, and bg sy katun WonderPet mmg sgt kelaka :))
  20. walaupun dia jahat, dlm diam sy sgt adore watak Gretchen dlm Prison Break. sbb dia nmpak sgt cool :)
  21. bila reply sms, tanpa disedari sy akan sebut apa yg sy taip tu satu2. sampai bf sy kat sebelah ckp, "mcm ni gaya awk taip sms, mmg awk x blh nak curang2 la. kompem kantoi".
  22. bila terlalu suka sesuatu brg, sy akan beli tanpa berfikir panjang. kenapa? refer no.4 :)
  23. bila tgh buat sesuatu yg siyes (eg. design building or kira budget utk beli tote bag yg harganya 1/4 dari gaji sy), tanpa sedar sy sebenarnya memuncungkan bibir sy.
  24. bila ada brg sy yg rosak (eg. jam, hp, etc) sy prefer beli baru dr membaikinya. sbb sy selalu x yakin brg tu akan jadi elok lepas repair. kenapa? refer no.4 lagi :)
  25. sy jadi sgt pathetic when it comes to my kids. kalau diorg mintak apa2, sy akan tanya balik, "cukup ke satu je?"
  26. bila pagi ni sy kata, "i hate her/him siyeshit!", there's always possibility that esok lusa bila org yg konon dibenci tu berbuat baik pd sy, sy akan dgn mudahnya berasa belas and ckp, "jahatnya aku benci dia semalam". kenapa? refer no.3.
  27. sifat sy seperti no.26 selalu membuatkan ramai yg amik kesempatan pd sy. wuu~~ sbb diorg anggap sy sgt mudah memaafkan.
  28. bila fieza ckp dia sgt suka bau Clinique Happy Heart yg sy pakai, sy rasa sgt bangga. tp sy x bgtau pun dia yg perfume Lacoste yg dia pakai tu pun pernah menjadi idaman sy. *ego* (luv u fieza! :p)
  29. sy selalu ckp fragment sentences-ckp separuh2. and ppl are getting annoyed of it.
  30. sy baru tau Kapar tu x sama dgn Kampar. Kapar kat Selangor, Kampar kat Perak :p (and mama mcm nak luku kepala sy tadi. haha)
  31. sy terbiasa panggil my girlfrens dear/babe/yang, sampai ada org anggap sy songsang (esp time sy single).
  32. walaupun sy selalu nak menang dgn bf sy, sebenarnya sy sgt2 menghormati beliau :)
  33. sy gemok. (notation utk org yg da lama x jumpa sy)
  34. bila sy disuruh pegi sabah, sy sgt seronok, plan mcm2 nak beli, merancang nak melawat mcm2 tempat and mula menghubungi rakan2 yg tinggal kat sana, sampai sy lupa sebenarnya sy pegi sana utk bekerja.
  35. sy selalu ckp nak puasa esok, tp bila esok org ajak lunch, sy join lunch gak. kenapa? refer no.2 :p
  36. sy x suka pakai eyeliner, sbb mata sy akan jadi sgt bulat and menakutkan.
  37. sy nak sgt pakai braces, tp sy malu and takut sbb kena cabut 4 btg gigi geraham.
  38. badan sy lebih panjang dr kaki sy.
  39. sy selalu gigit pipi arissa sbb terlampau geram. haha. hrp kakna x baca ni.
  40. sy selalu merenung muka mama masa mama tido. and mesti bergenang2 airmata sy fikir after all trouble i've caused, mama masih lg bersama sy.
  41. sy sgt suka menyanyi (at the office, dlm kereta), tp hakikatnya suara sy lgsung x sedap. wuu~~
  42. sy sgt addicted London Earl Grey Tea.
  43. sy sgt suka membaca, tp sy x suka baca newspaper. kenapa? sbb tgn akan jadi hitam lepas pegang suratkhabar. so baek baca online je. hehehe.
  44. sy x suka tgk tv even Astro. sy prefer tgk DVD.
  45. when there's crisis in a relationship, i prefer silent treatment rather than confrontation. cuz i might say sumthing i would end up regretting it when i'm in anger. (at least pls let me cool down first ok).
  46. but it differs when it comes to work, i LOVE confrontation to stand my right.
  47. ada 2-3 buku yg sy beli hanya kerana sy sukakan covernya yg cantik and colorful, bkn sebab contentnya.
  48. walaupun sy selalu menafikan sekeras2nya, sebenarnya kdg2 sy pun rasa sy lebih manja dr adik2 sy.
  49. dlm keadaan tertekan, kdg2 sy bercakap lbh byk dr biasa.
  50. sy rasa pagi esok ada kemungkinan sy menyesal post this and might consider deleting it.

i've confessed almost everything. do u still want to be friends with me..? (T_T)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

hard days

things going very hard at work.
the bosses, the consultants, the suppliers, the colleagues.
a lot of things happened.
it tensed me so much yesterday.
to the extend that i texted my project director,
"its too difficult and i cant take it anymore, can we sit down and discuss sumthing tomorrow? its important"
i'm thinking of.. well, u know what i mean..
(i'm too embarassed to point out, showing how a failure i am)
fine, i was not cool. i was childish, and i was so ladylike being that fragile. (i AM a lady afterall, am i forbidden to cry?)
sitting silently in the car next to my endurance bf,
i know that he's in pressure too, for constantly being put in the middle of the conflict between me and my boss.
well, he's having a very great-close relationship with the big boss, while i am his gf who's far to be the boss' fav..
everytime i'm having trouble with the boss, he seems to be dragged to the problem as well, by me of course.
the boss is a good guy, i have to admit.
its just that, there's sumthing that i hardly understand, sumthing businesswise, and maybe me myself just refused to understand.

i was so demoralized going to work this morning,
until i got a phone call by the boss (he's at Kuching at the moment), saying sumthing very2 nice, sumthing i hardly expect he would say to me.
at last i got compliment for my job! by him! :))
eventho it might not be a big deal for sum ppl,
but for sum1 like me who had to struggle twice harder to compete in this line that monopolized by men,
IT IS A BIG DEAL! :Di'm gaining spirit again :)
evenmore after having a long conversation with the project director who's so fatherly and calm, i feel a lot more lighthearted.
its good to be very outspoken i supposed,
at least i dont hold any grudge towards anybody as i have let out everything that disturbed me.
(i did that with the boss as well. mesti semalam dia bengang je, habis2an i stand for myself. walaupun rasa mcm salah je fact i tu :p)
my guy is so true, the time he said,
"dont take it personally la syg"
he's very right.
i feel a lot better now.

tomorrow will be a hard day too i supposed,
cuz i will be having a 2nd personal meeting with the business partner/supplier who used to make things difficult for me.
but this is work, like it or not, i have to play my role here.
the only way to get over your biggest fear is---> FACING IT!things wont be that easy, i know.
but i've put aside all the unnecessary burdens out of my head.

dear my guy,
thanks for always be there, no matter how childish i reacted.
and thanks sbb marah sy about that 'thing' smlm, otherwise siyesly sampai bila2 pun sy xkan sedar.
(walaupun sy sgt2 takut time awk luahkan semua yg awk rasa tu. bergenang2 da airmata terlampau terkejut. huhu~)





p.s: never know that u luv me that much, way too much than i've expected. i feel blessed, and i luv u evenmore now :)

Monday, July 6, 2009

happy BDAY mama!

below are my phone conversations with kakna dan adik2 sy pg td :)

#1
me: kakna call ke td? hp dikna ni gile sket, x dgr.
kakna: hp ko mmg asik gile je. weyh bday mama ni ko bg apa?
me: (tersipu2) dikna pokai la bln ni kakna. ada beli sumthing last week.
kakna: hm.. ko beli kek la, aku da beli benda best utk mama.
me: ok la.

#2
me: man, bday mama arini. ko da call mama?
man: tau2. lom agi, jap agi aku call. ko bg apa kat mama?
me: (tersipu2 agi) aku beli kek je kot..
man: aku punye nanti aku balik 9hb ni aku bg la. belated.
me: ko balik ke? bestnye! :) (man is always be my fav brother, dan dia sgt jrg balik kl..)
man: balik kejap je, pastu terus pegi latihan terbang. 5000 tau kena baya, huhu.
me: mahalnya, ko ada duit x ni? (tanya mcm nk tlg bayarkan je :p)
man: ada2, dont worry. aku da saving sejak awl tahun lg.

*man is an airforce pilot btw.

#3
me: lah, arini bday mama ko tau x?
lah: tau la, aku cuti la arini. demam.
me: laaa, ko kat umah ke, weyh2 ko bg apa kat mama?
lah: xde idea la. belanja makan kot.
me: anything nti gtau aku tau. xnak la kita bg benda yg sama.
lah: yela2.

balik keje, sampai je umah sy masuk umah smbil menyanyi2 lagu HAPPY BDAY dgn riangnya :). mama rilek ckp, "ko last sekali yg wish tau". sy yg da ready dgn jwpn terus menerangkan bahawa sy perlu keluar bekerja mencari rezeki dan ditambah2 dgn kisah horror sy yg terjadi pg td. pjg la citenye. kalau cik abg sy dgr msti dia ckp, "syg, pjg sgt la cite awk. esok je la smbung"..

dan in the evening, br teringat myra ada sms suruh call dia.

#4
me: weyh ko pesal suro call?
myra: arini bday mama kan?
me: ish ko ni mmg anak x gune la. mama da tanak ckp dgn ko lg (reka2 cerite).
myra: ala kak una cpat la pnggil mama.
me: mama tanak ckp dgn ko la, ish ko ni da org x sudi tu jgn la pakse.
myra: ala tipu, panggil je la mama~~!

then sy panggil la mama, and mereka berborak dgn riang gembira =) meanwhile, plan changed. lah lak ckp dia nak beli kek. kek tu sgt lucu, bila dia bukak je kotak kek tu, kami semua ketawa dgn kuatnya (erm.. sebenarnya sy sorg je ketawa plg kuat). sebabnya, kek tu sgt.... kecik! haha. kedekut tul budak lah ni. tp sgt sedap la, siyes! (sy apa yg x sedap, suma pun sedap *sigh*) so sy da x tau nak beli apa, sy order la pizza delivery berkotak2 utk memeriahkan suasana. kakna, seperti sedia maklum, dia mmg bg hadiah sgt best kat mama, jeles sy. and utk memujuk hati sy, mama ckp, "ala ko pun blh pakai ni". its jewellery set btw, plus BP tester machine kot, ntah ape ntah nama benda perubatan tu. xpe la ma, dikna kan da bg mama kasih syg yg melimpah ruah, dikna la plg pandai buat mama ketawa, dikna la penghibur hati mama :)) (ayat org yg sentiasa broke, wuuu~~)

HAPPY B'DAY MAMA!
dikna syg mama, sgt2..

the day we share the laughs :))

reunion 3 Azam 2000 at rumah mira at Puchong.
sgt happening, sgt bahagia, sgt happy.
i think i laughed till it hurts my stomach badly. haha.
from the beginning, till the end of the day.
bak kate kin, bjumpa kwn2 adalah terapi yg sgt baik.
hilang sume stress (pnah stress ke aku ni? :p)
click here to view all the photos :)
(but i think u gotta hav fb account 1st, mind u kin :p)

there's a lot of stories to share but too little time we had.
masa nak balik tu betul2 rasa mcm byk lg nak cite.
suddenly i just realized that i'm actually missing them more than i know.

to mira: thanx! kiss emir for me (^x^)
to nisa:we FIGHT ok! anybody else care to join? it begins TODAY. apa yg penting? BEKERJASAMA! :D
to aidil, kin & waie: ala nak ikut g genting!
to the rest: be keep in touch k, u guys are the best! :)
XOXO


utk cerita yg lbh detail, sila klik blog waie di sini. maklum la, sy di office skang, xley nak cerita beria2 sgt. heheh :D

Friday, July 3, 2009

MISSION

i have a MISSION.
a MISSION that might change my bored-dull daily routines.
in order to fulfill the MISSION, these are things that i have to do:

1) cutdown 10kg of my weight.
(this is the hardest part. but anything is possible, all u need to have is a strong will and of course a full efforts.. heh, ckp mcm bagus2 je kan :p)

2) take extra care of my face
(sumthing that i used to neglect, selambe je tido without make-up removing, padan la wajahku makin kusam je. *sigh*)

3) read more to gain more esteem.
(shouldn't be a prob, reading's already my passion. but maybe i should read more on general knowledge, esp geographically. erm.. psssstt.. sebenarnya sy baru tau Barcelona tu kat Spain, ingatkan kat Italy. kena sergah je dgn mama semalam. huhu. sy mmg sgt worst dlm hal2 geography ni.. *sigh*)

i really have to be strict and firm this time. its crucial already, and i believe this MISSION will change my whole life! yes i can do it! (sgt spirit, i nearly add Malaysia Boleh! td :p)


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

yesterday-HAPPY, today-CONFUSED.. (??)

2 ari yg sgt berbeza:

YESTERDAY
sgt happy! :) the boss still at tawau, that turned the office into heaven-like! heheh. yesterday was june's last day here. she'd just finished her practical training as secretary n will further her study for the next 6 months. but she will be back soon after she graduated, SHE WILL :D (sila klik di sini utk mengenali my fav june :D) as to celebrate it, abg adi was soo dear to treat her (plus all of us too :p) at Secret Recipe The Weld during lunch hour. it was sooooo much fun that we're so long to feel. sy mkn meat ball spagetti with tropica smoothie kot, cant recall. i'm thinking of having choc blended actually, but since da kerap sgt minum air choc at Oldtown last week i change my mind into sumthing a bit sour :) we laughed very happily, having a great time and it was soo much pleasure. done with dine-in lunch, abg adi banje the whole cake of choc indulgence lg! *sgt heaven :))*

me and june: peace! (^_^)v

clockwise: una (the comel one), hanis (the bajet cool one), abg adi (the most matured one), kak fara (the laugh histerically one) and june (the garfield one-now i know.. haha) :))

balik keje. hmm, sy diculik! siyes.. skarang ni sy dlm kurungan penculik lagi. wuu.. tlg sy.. haha.. kidding :p balik keje as usual i tumpang my bf (and this time with june as well, june is his cousin btw) and he supposed to drop me at LRT masjid jamek before he send june to umah nenek diorg (june mmg dduk dgn nenek dia). but soon after i naik kereta, both of them have decided to bring me along to rumah nenek! sy menjerit2 dlm kereta tu tanak ikut (sy x ready lg la! huhu). i keep saying that my attire was inappropriate for the 1st impression but diorg x dgr pun rintihan sy.. wuu.. nak nangis rasa dlm kereta tu.. berdebar kot.. (but my mood changed when they both make promises as redemption for kidnapping me. cousin iparku, since june student agi, k.una bg chance la: a complete set which include starters, main meals and deserts at TGI Fridays. bf baik lg generous, since awk nmpak mcm sgt kaya je, so this is what i expect from u: LV monogram tote bag. habis sbulan gaji awk. sebenarnya sy mintak purse D&G je, but june yg suggest LV ni. haha. *gelak evil* :p) but gratefully everything was way too great there, i was treated very2 nicely by his auntie that i called mak ucu and also nenek yg masih lagi sakit lutut. x sampai hati tgk nenek :( nenek keep on repeating, "hanis tu la kesayangan nenek, susahnya nak balik tgk nenek. sampai termimpi2 nenek rindukan dia.." huh, dgr tu syg? awk ni x sensitif langsung perasaan org tua. ish! byk lagi sebenarnya yg sy bualkan dgn nenek masa berdua2an dlm bilik tu, bergenang2 air mata sy yg berjiwa sensitif ni. huhu :(

after having dinner there, he sent me home and sepanjang perjalanan balik tu sy lgsg tdk melepaskan peluang meleteri beliau ttg hal ni, plus hal2 sampingan lain serta isu2 berbangkit. alang2 dpt chance, habis semua sy ckp tanpa henti (cuma berhenti kejap je sbb nak isi minyak kat Shell Tmn Melati tu, pastu sambung balik). haha. sakit da telinga dia, but of course sy menggunakan kelembutan dan kasih syg la supaya lbh mudah meresap ke dlm hati beliau yg sgt tggi egonya tu.. huhu. letih juga bcakap dgn org yg keras kepala ni.. what to do, he's my precious. *sigh*.

i still feel soo much blessed to be loved by u...

TODAY
sgt bosan! meeting at TNB-ES at PJ regarding our project that supposed to be finished this month. betul2 bosan meeting tu, lama lak tu! panjang berjela2. its all about system and its damn complicated. actually that project x melibatkan sy pun, but boss suruh pegi so that i can learn sumthing there. sempat sy berfikir ttg masa dpan sy dlm industri ni. suddenly i just realized that this field seemed not really belongs to me. i feel like Becky Bloomwood in Confession of Shopaholic, whose extremely shopaholic but working as financial expert who suppose to advice ppl on how to manage financial, and its soo irony when her financial management herself is completely terrible. thats what i really feel right now. i luv wearing nice clothes, i luv being beautiful, i luv being a lady, i luv talking and writing, i luv entertaining ppl, i luv to be the most outstanding one, the shiniest among all (well this is my blog and i can say anything i like kan?) and i luv to be the centre of the crowd. i'm not really technical person to be completely sincere (i think most my besties know this), sumtimes i do have doubts whether i really luv this job or i just being in this field simply bcuz i had spend 5 and a half years studying this subject-->CIVIL ENGINEERING and of course i dont want all those precious times goes to waste. i have to admit that i was just study for the sake of maintaining a good pointer, not bcuz i'm soo into it. and one question that ppl typically ask, "dah tu kenapa ko amik engineering?". i usually answered, bcuz i like to see this and that, or sumtimes i said i would like to try sumthing challenging or craps and craps and craps.. guys, to be perfectly honest, i chose engineering bcuz it sounds COOL. haha :)) what a childish thought. ala entah2 ramai kot yg berfikiran mcm sy ni dulu :p of course ppl will say, "ala jadi engineer pun blh je pakai cantik2 what?". but the thing is, being in a field that surrounded with guys, we, the gurls (esp those with a fancy clothes or wearing sumthing with colors, when i say colors i strictly mean anything aside of black, brown, grey or dark blue), we cant escape of ppl weird looking, and even harsher when ppl hardly take u seriously. sumtimes they would just treat u as sum1 who only know how to dress attractively and wears perfume. i'm so used of these kinda question,

"blh ke nak masuk site nanti? panas tau"

or sumthing like,

"site tu kena masuk hutan tau, byk nyamuk tau, tahan ke?"

(damn u chauvinist cow >:P)

i do admit that sumtimes i feel a bit pleased and lucky when i was given sum privileged whenever i attend any function full of guys, but i cant help thinking that this is really not me. even harder when now i'm working at Class A Contractor of System Integrated Company, which the knowledge of M&E are more applicable rather than C&S. i strived very hard to survive, to compete, to adapt with all these technical stuffs and i'm trying desperately to imagine all abstrax matters as electrical things sort of. sumtimes i cant deny that i hate it a lot when ppl talk system wise, sumthing i hardly understand (there are terms that i NEVER learn, never even heard of it before). at least if i can apply what i've learn in the university, which sumthing like RC design, maybe i would feel better. i've no regret of course, but i really feel like its a time that i've to think of doing sumthing i'm wholeheartedly love, sumthing fun and carefree, sumthing i really enjoy doing it, not that i pretend enjoying it (and if possible any job that i can wear nice-fancy clothes with colors and no one bothers). well whatever, i've a fickle-minded remember? perhaps tomorrow i wud read this post again and realized that i was just writing craps and i might actually really luv my job now, who knows? nevertheless, as my syg said after listening to my nonsense in the car this evening, "for the time being, anggap je la skrg ni we have to work simply bcuz we need to survive".. yes, thats soo true. x kerja xde duit lak kan? xde duit mcm mana nak beli that fab Louis Vuitton thing kan? kan? :D



p.s: i luv u MHR :)